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Megan: Welcome to Queers Next Door
Leigh: with your hosts Leigh and Megan.
M: We take the topics you care about:
L: sex, relationships, feminism, kink, social justice, and entertainment,
M: and look at them through a queer as fuck lens.
L: Find us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at Queers Next Door
M: and make sure to follow the blog at queersnextdoor.com.
L: Cheers, queers!
M: Hello out there in Podcast Land.
L: Hey Megan.
M: Isn’t that what they said on TV Land? “Hello out there in TV Land.”
L: They did. That made us, we’re real old.
M: (laughs) TV Land.
L: TV Land. That was like what they called the old shows, right? When they did the reruns?
L: Wasn’t that TV Land?
M: Yes. I Dream of Jeanie.
L: Yep. Like I Love Lucy.
M: Okay, I’m still eating, so I’m trying not to make weird noises.
L: Megan’s doing unintentional ASMR
L: if you’re into that. Or if you have the other thing, and I can’t remember what it’s called, where the sound of someone eating or chewing makes you want to scream and rip your hair out, then I would go ahead and skip for 30 seconds
M: Yeah. (laughs)
L: So, when you’re done chewing, Megan, what have you been doing
L: to take care of yourself this week?
M: I went to therapy.
L: (quietly cheers) Yaaaay.
M: I didn’t cancel ’cause the week before, or no, whenever I was supposed to go last time I canceled, but it was because I was with my dog at his grooming appointment
M: and I didn’t know it was gonna take several hours
M: (laughs) so I didn’t mean to miss it but then it kind of like, I went down this whole spiral of doing things I shouldn’t do.
M: And then going to therapy and having her remind me that I don’t do these things for a reason. One being watching true crime shows (laughs)
M: and another being listening to (laughs) true crime podcasts.
L: I mean…fine.
M: And what else? I think that’s it. Just therapy, trying to stay on top of shit.
L: No, I think that’s perfect. Sometimes just the regular like
L: you do the thing regularly is a big deal.
M: And I went to three concerts
L: That’s amazing.
M: which is actually not self-care. It could be like the opposite for me (laughs)
M: because I don’t like new places. I don’t like crowds.
M: I don’t like that much noise. Like all of it sounds like it’s not fun.
M: But most of them were fun.
M: So I saw LP.
M: She’s so hot.
L: I don’t really know her.
M: Her voice, ugh. She’s a trained opera singer.
L: That’s amazing.
M: I looove, anyways she’s so hot and she covered “Sex on Fire”
M: and with this hip thrusting and like
M: Oh, I love her.
L: Okay, I’m into that.
(sirens in background)
M: Every time.
M: LA, right?
M: And I got, so one of the popular hits is called, “Lost on You”
M: and so I went with my friend Dawn. Her friend made shirts that say “Lost on You” for us
M: so I’m really excited. I love that cheesy shit
L: Oh nice.
M: and that’s a great song. So yeah, listen to LP. And then I also saw The Coathangers, which was really fun. And what else? Oh, Metric.
L: I was like, I know one of these. You saw Metric also.
M: So that was fun, kind of getting out. I was gonna say like a cool kid my age, but I guess I’m not a kid, but still.
M: It felt cool when I’m actually going out to concerts and like doing things normal people do
L: No, I totally get that.
M: although I know normal doesn’t exist, but you know.
L: I know what you mean.
M: So hey, Leigh.
L: Hey Megan.
M: What have you been doing to take care of yourself for the last few weeks?
L: I’m gonna piggyback off of what you said, like I’m in some corporate meeting and saying weird jargon.
M: (laughs) Per my last email.
L: (laughs) Seriously. Yeah. I also, so I also went to a thing out in the world, speaking of murder podcasts. I went and saw My Favorite Murder
L: live in Vegas and it was ridiculously good. It was super fun. And also, I didn’t even tell you this, my partner got us tickets for Clusterfest in San Francisco, which is a three day like comedy event,
M: Uh huh.
L: and so My Favorite Murder will be there, this is just gonna be an ad for everything, Love It or Leave It will be there, Iilana Glazer from Broad City is gonna be there, John Mulaney is gonna be there, who’s my favorite comedian ever, and so, and like The Roots, Girl Talk, like a ton of like everything I like basically is going to be there.
M: That’s awesome! That sounds like so much fun.
L: And I don’t like concerts, but it is in San Francisco, so I can take a short flight, and it is like outside festival-like, and I can smoke weed
M: (quietly cheers) Yaaaay!
L: outside, which both of those things make it feel a lot more comfortable than the idea of being like inside a thing, or somewhere it’s crazy hot, so yeah, we’re doing that the end of June because my birthday’s in July, and I will be turning 40.
L: Yaaay. And then I was gonna say one other thing from therapy because I had what I feel like is like a profound breakthrough, even though it’s stealing someone’s quote, and I can’t remember who I’m stealing it from. So I don’t know if I heard this on one of my murder podcasts or if I read this somewhere, so I will try to figure out where I got this phrase from. But this week I was listening to a different true crime podcast called Cold about the Susan Powell case. I’m not gonna talk about it because it’s really good and I highly recommend, but a terrible thing happens,
L: and I knew the terrible thing was going to happen because I’ve already heard the story, but when the terrible thing, when they talked about the terrible thing, I had this moment of just feeling like really really awful and I stopped and I was like, “Why do I listen to this stuff?” Like, “Why am I doing this? Is this bad for me? Is this-” And then I just had this thought, again that I stole from somewhere else, that was like, “We don’t have to live here,” which is like, you can hear like a bad thing happen and you can acknowledge it, but like you don’t have to live in that space
L: all of the time. And so I’m kind of trying to transfer that to my regular life. Probably go into this in a different podcast at some point but like my partner and I have been having some issues. A lot of it’s around my PMDD. Like we’ve just made some temporary decisions about how we’re spending time together, and it’s hard for both of us, even though it’s the right thing to do. So we’re not like taking a break, but there’s been a shift in things right now, and I think we’re trying to find the right way to like tell each other it’s gonna be okay, but also be like, “This isn’t our new normal.” So I kind of tried to have that conversation last night with her, which I think resonated, the idea of like, we’re not in a great place but like we don’t have to live here, like it’s just…
M: Awww, that’s sweet in a way.
L: Yeah, and it, I don’t know, it felt, it felt hopeful. I think it’s been hard for both of us ’cause I think we both need reassurance to be the one…what’s…(laughs)
M: Every time you’re talking something happens. I spilled a drop of water on your calendar
M: (laughs) and I’m very upset about it.
L: Oh, I don’t care.
M: Oh, okay.
L: It’s totally fine.
M: I have to move my coffee.
L: Megan and I went to Starbucks before we started recording and she hit her head on the door
L: and I told her that she always like spills or hits or does some weird thing
M: And I lost my shoe in the gutter.
L: and I was like don’t use up all that energy or we won’t have it in the podcast
L: and then again I had that moment where I was saying something and I was like, “She’s doing something over there. Whatcha doin?”
M: Well because you always write really pretty and like have your stuff
L: It’s okay.
M: and then I just spilled a drop of water
L: It’s all temporary though.
M: so like I could not focus on what you were saying until I (laughs) addressed that situation. So I was like mmm
L: I know, and then like ’cause well I have the little mic cover so I can’t see that clearly and I was like, “Is she trying to secretly tell me something?”
L: Does she want me to stop making noise with
L: my drink. Okay.
M: So we’re good now. So you don’t care about- Also I don’t really like fruit so if you want some of this.
L: I might eat some of that fruit.
M: But I want to eat this but I feel like it will be too loud right now so I’m gonna wait.
M: But you’re welcome to the fruit.
M: So anyways, sorry, it’s always around this time something weird has to happen, but now it happened
L: It’s just where we are. We can move past it.
M: I love that though. That’s really cute and a good way of looking at everything.
L: I feel like it’s, oh yeah, the only last part I was saying, was just that I think both of us like need reassurance but maybe aren’t capable of giving as much as we’d like so instead of like saying like, “Everything’s gonna be okay,” which like it is, but it’s not right now, like just remembering that this is not, this is not the end place I guess.
L: “We don’t have to live here.” Credit to whoever said that in whatever context. I wish I could figure it out. Oh, but the one thing that was funny, I’m sorry, I can’t, I’m just gonna keep talking forever.
L: The one thing that was really funny because you were telling me that you just said that your therapist said not to listen to true crime podcasts.
M: Uh huh.
L: So as I told this story almost the exact same way to my therapist yesterday and I was like, “Okay, so I was listening to this podcast about, and this terrible thing happens.” And she goes, (whispers) “Which podcast?” And I was like, “Cold.” And she’s like, “Let me just write that down for later.” (laughs)
M: Oh, I love it.
L: She’s like, “Okay, go on.” Yeah.
M: Well I went, I think because we talked about, which is a good time to plug this, on our Patreon, we just released the first little Patreon exclusive podcast, which is titled Queer Cuts.
L: (whispers) Yes!
M: But then I thought it was kind of might be an inappropriate title because it talks about me being stabbed
L: Oh, yeah
M: but still funny. (laughs)
L: Yeah, well that’s totally up to you. That’s really on you if that feels uncomfortable.
M: No, I thought it was funny.
M: But, anyways, and everything, the little mini episodes are not always gonna be about that. It’s gonna be about
M: all kinds of fun shit. So anyways, we did that little podcast like what, two or three weeks ago,
M: just released it last night onto Patreon. So you can join for as little as a dollar and hear that and whatever else we come up with in the future. I’m sure it will be a good time. (laughs) So I went on this little kick again of true crime stuff, which I do like every four months.
M: So My Favorite Murder was not worse than anything else I’ve ever seen.
M: In fact, it was probably better because it is funny. They’re really funny.
L: It’s easier for me because I don’t see- Podcasts are so much easier
L: because it’s the visuals that are hard for me.
M: But my therapist was just like, “If you have this thing in the back of your head all day anyways
M: the last thing you should be doing is listening to things and watching things that are just gonna keep bringing it up and like triggering it on top of another bad mental health time.” So I was like, “You’re right.” But I do like it and I had to think about why and I think it goes again to like what I was just saying about wanting to feel like a cool kid, even though I’m not a kid. I don’t know why I’m so attached to that
M: right now. I’ll just keep going with it. I want to feel like the cool kid who’s like into that or at least to know that I can.
M: Like I don’t want to feel like I can’t because of what I’ve been through.
L: That makes sense, but also take care of yourself.
M: So, yeah. But I like it and I really think it’s funny so I already miss listening to My Favorite Murder because I think I got attached to them.
M: I just, they’re so fun together.
L: They really are. I know, I wish I could be like, “Well listen to-” Well I mean, the best bet, they talk for like half an hour
L: before they say anything about- So you could always just listen to them chat for a minute and then when they start
L: just turn it off because it’s like legitimate, it’s like thirty to forty minutes.
M: Well the first three episodes were fine, even the one about JonBenet
M: which I thought would be harder.
L: I know, when I went back and listened, it wasn’t as bad either.
M: But the fourth episode, I think is where they talked about someone being scalped.
L: There is one, because I listen backwards, right.
M: Uh huh.
L: Welcome to our podcast where we talk about other podcasts.
L: There was one that I heard, so it was one of the early ones, one of the first ones,
M: Uh huh.
L: that’s about cannibalism and I screamed in my car. Like I listen to it all the time and like by myself and I’ve listened to every episode and I make no faces and I was like, “AHHHH! NO!”
L: Like I was like, “Neeeeeeeeh!” like the whole time. So don’t listen to that one.
M: Yeah. Well and it’s weird because I would think certain things would trigger me more than others
M: but I really don’t ever know
M: and so the whole scalping thing, I don’t know what it was about that, but it like made an image in my head that I guess, then I just thought about it more.
M: And the other thing I do, which I think is pretty common, is like every time I hear one of those episodes, I always google it after.
M: So then I think it just creates like this thing in my head where I’m thinking about that more than I maybe should be.
M: So I’m trying to, I just like listening to podcasts now. I didn’t use to like them and now I do
M: and I realize there’s a shit ton of podcasts..
L: There’s so many. So I just, I will forward you, there is a list of like whatever just came out as the top something podcasts.
L: So I will send that to you. So what are we talking about today Megan?
M: We’re talking about movies.
M: Queer movies. Gay movies.
L: When we decided to do this,
L: I made a list of like every gay movie I watched in the ’90s ’cause I watched a lot of gay movies in the ’90s.
L: and then we, the way we decided to do it was Megan hadn’t seen a lot of these, so she went back and watched, well she watched four movies
L: and, of those four, I watched one today, the one I hadn’t seen before. I’ve seen the other three, but one of them in the last six months and the other two not since, probably since they came out, so
M: Yeah. I was tweeting about this, that I hate, I just don’t like watching movies at home. If I’m at someone else’s house, I could do like a movie day and probably pay attention,
M: but at my own house it’s really hard. But I was really determined that if we were gonna talk about this- I could have just went to Wikipedia, which I did afterwards, but I had to at least watch it so I could have like an idea
M: even though I didn’t pay attention to all of it because just being at home, I had this weird anxiety about like, “Should I be doing something else? But instead, I’m gonna force myself to sit here and watch.” (laughs)
L: Do you watch with closed captions.
L: I do too.
M: Yes. That helps.
L: For anyone who has trouble paying attention or obviously who has any kind of like hearing issues, I discovered like watching everything with closed captions in the last year or so and I can’t watch without. Like I can’t pay attention.
M: Yeah. I need them on too now.
L: But the thing that bothers me the most, which I noticed today – We’re gonna talk about a movie called Duck Butter,
L: and I watched it with closed captions ’cause I always do, but when the music comes on for that one, at least the way the captioning was done, is it told me what kind of music it was, which I totally get, but it told me like the mood of the music. So it was like ominous music or like
M: Oooh, I thought it said the
L: sensual music.
M: song name.
L: Depends on like who does the captioning service.
L: But it kept saying things like sensual music, ominous music. And I was like, “Don’t say what- I don’t know, like don’t tell me the mood of the music.” I feel like, I don’t know.
L: I didn’t like it. It bugged me.
M: That’s weird.
L: Do we want to start with Duck Butter?
M: Sure! Okay, so I made little notes, which I know we don’t really need, but I at least want to read the little about-thing
M: in case someone hasn’t seen it.
M: So I took the list you gave and I just chose the top three
M: that were on yours and then I added this one because when I was telling my friend Angela we were doing this she was like oh, I can’t handle another Duck Butter movie, and I was like, “Oh, that’s a good one to include” because it’s newer.
M: So I thought people would have seen it, but from our Instagram poll, not many people have seen it anyways. So, where is it, Duck Butter is, it came out in 2018 and it’s on Netflix right now. It is “an American experimental comedy film directed by Miguel Arteta
M: from a screenplay Arteta and Alia Shawkat.” So I don’t need to read that part. “Naima and Sergio meet at a club and get to know each other by having sex every hour on the hour. Two women who are dissatisfied with the dishonesty they see in dating and relationships decide to make a pact to spend 24 hours together hoping to find a new way to create intimacy.”
M: I’m really glad you watched it because there was, from my friend, in my little friend group, there were so many mixed reactions.
L: I really want to hear what other people, so yeah, people listening today, we would love to hear
L: what you think about it. I had very mixed reactions to this movie, so, oh and just, not that there’s a whole lot of plot to this movie, but just be aware, there’ll be spoilers in just about everything so
M: Oh, yes. I wrote that in the notes but did I say it? No.
L: No, but I saw you write it.
M: “Give spoiler alert.” (laughs)
L: So, yeah, so like if wanna watch it and you don’t want to know what happens, well then, go watch it and come back. I can’t decide,
L: I think I hated it. (laughs) But like I love Alia Shawkat
L: so I don’t say her name right, Shawkat yeah. I love her very much. The episode of Broad City when she and Iilana have sex with each other and they think it’s only because they look alike (laughs) is…
M: I haven’t seen Broad City. I need to watch it.
L: It is so good. I love her. I love her in everything. I think she is really, I think she’s a really great actor. I think she’s like the cutest person in the world.
L: I love her face. So like that made the movie enjoyable, and it has really hot sex scenes,
L: like regularly hot queer sex scenes. So I can’t stress enough how much we don’t see that in things,
L: so I feel like I need to give it props just for that.
M: Yeah. And I think Sergio, I didn’t read her name because I didn’t…what’s her name? Laia Costa
M: She’s adorable also.
L: She is. She’s gorgeous.
M: I love her face.
M: It was a little like, she’s so hot but then when she talks, you’re kind of like, “Ehhh, I don’t know about this.”
M: So I thought it was just her character is fascinating to me. I, that was the thing that people either loved or hated. That was what made people’s reaction so strong. It was like, either, “Oh, I wish I was more like her. She’s awesome.” or like, “This is very toxic and unhealthy and I can’t even watch it.”
L: I felt like it was very manic pixie dream girl,
L: which like is a nice twist to see with two women instead of like the manic pixie dream girl like saving the boring
L: white guy. But that being said, like I don’t like that trope.
L: I don’t, I don’t know. So I think we need to talk about what duck butter means.
M: (excited whisper) Yes! I wrote it down ’cause I
L: It’s so gross.
M: didn’t think I would be able to describe it as well.
L: So I am not like, whatever, I don’t want to start by being like, “I’m not doing this,” ’cause someone might think I’m doing it. I try my best to not body shame or like act like things are gross because I don’t think bodies are gross, but the meaning of duck butter is essentially, like she used the word smegma in there,
L: which is also a word I haven’t heard in years. But it’s like, you know, stuff on your genitals when they’re not super clean,
L: which like eh, whatever. But there was this part about, so Alia Shawkat’s character is telling a story about a like kind of gross sexual experience she had, and a guy was about to go down on her, and, I was telling Megan
L: that like okay, so, and then like something bothered him. And I thought it was gonna be like her hair, right, and then it’s gonna be like well, like hair is normal, we all have hair, right? Or like a smell because some people don’t understand that like vaginas have a smell.
L: If it’s a really, really bad smell, then you should go check that out, because it’s probably an infection, but
M: But they’re not supposed to smell like roses
L: they’re not supposed to smell like roses and flowers.
M: and all that shit.
L: You’re not supposed to douche. You’re gonna have like a natural body smell. You might smell a little musty or if you are sweaty. I myself am a very smell sensitive person already, so
M: I thought you were gonna say I myself am a very smelly person. (laughs)
L: I myself have, my pussy smells like roses, but I know we all can’t have that, but I am like very sensitive to smell, so I will say that, but like, but what it ended up being was that she had, you know, schmutz, like
M: (laughs) Oh my god.
L: She had
M: So can I read the urban dictionary one?
L: Uhh, yeah.
M: Although it says about, okay, well this is not entirely accurate to this, but I still like the description: “The combination of sweat from the ball sack and anus, that creates a buttery film on the grundle and butt hole, occurring usually from an unwashed scrotum.” But like in this case
M: no, but still, like that, I guess- So it’s a buttery consistency, like ugh (laughs while making mock gagging noises)
L: Like that’s literally making me. I just did like a gag reflex. I am-
M: So that’s the title of the movie.
L: That is the title of a movie.
M: Duck Butter!
L: And like I have to say it has a very… Do you remember when Dan Savage came up with the meaning for santorum?
M: (makes a noise for no)
L: Oh, okay so real real quick, there was a Governor Rick Santorum, I don’t know, he was a politician and I can’t remember what he did
L: and he was the worst. And he did some shitty, shitty anti-gay stuff. So when everyone was reading Savage Love, they, Dan came up with an idea that we need to find a new meaning for the word santorum. And so santorum is like the, what is it, it’s like the frothy mix of
M: Oh god.
L: semen and feces that is the result, sometimes result of anal sex.
M: Oh god.
L: The hilarious part of it is that if you google santorum still like ten years later, that’s the first thing that comes up,
L: not the governor, which is hilarious and like just a really quality level of trolling
L: that I’m into. But I’m also like. I’m like bleh, but at least even with that, which is kind of gross, like it is the byproduct of a sexual act sometimes, right?
M: This. (laughs)
L: This? I just read it and I was like, listen, all bodies are wonderful, but girl wash your pussy, like that, yeah. Wash your pussy.
M: That was a very disturbing part to me also.
L: I didn’t think it was sexy.
M: I thought it was funny, but…
L: It was funny.
M: And so I mean, I guess, like way too many spoilers, but like Sergio jokes that she should, what, send a box of her duck butter to the man,
M: and it’s just (makes a grossed out noise and a gagging noise). She says send it to his kid, so…(laughs)
L: I’m like literally, I’m recoiling into myself because it’s so gross. And the other thing that I think that it does not sound like it is consistent with the character is there’s a lot of sex and one of the sex scenes is this character, the one with the duck butter (makes gagging noise), is eating the other girl’s ass
L: and then they show like a real casual afterwards of her brushing her teeth and doing a little like swish and spit, which is like, a real normal thing to do after eating ass, but if you were- but not everyone does it. And if you were a person who cares enough about such things that you’re gonna rinse your mouth out and brush your teeth after eating someone’s ass, then I don’t believe that you don’t wash your pussy.
M: Yeah. I’m, like I don’t know how that, like they named the movie Duck Butter, so this is like a big part of the film and I guess, I don’t know, I don’t know what I think about it.
L: I don’t either. I feel like somebody just read that in urban dictionary and was like, “That’s wild. I’ve never heard that before.”
M: “Let’s do it.”
L: Like I don’t know. I don’t
L: Generally though, the movie, again the sex scenes were hot. The conversations, the like, it was, I guess it was effective in being like so awkward and uncomfortable, like in lots of parts
L: that like I felt like, you know that like really like discomfort empathy feeling
L: like when someone else is uncomfortable, like that happened several times for me.
L: And yeah, I think Sergio, like I think I hated her.
L: (laughs) I think she’s the worst.
M: So what I said to some of my friends while watching it was that I like the idea of Sergio.
M: She’s like the kind of person that you would like, that you think you would like to be with,
M: but in reality we’ve all had someone who’s a little bit like that and it never works and it’s toxic and it’s bad. But I think, I just had a thought about her… Oh! So like, well Naima holds back a lot and Sergio doesn’t. So we have like two ends of this spectrum and that I like how they showed- They didn’t really talk about Naima’s background as much.
M: They talked about Sergio’s and like her mom came into the story and all of that. I think it was really well done. And the shit part of the movie where she shits and like brings it out,
M: it was so gross, again, disgusting. I can’t even.
L: And she’s also hitting her with a bag of dog shit.
M: Yeah. (laughs)
L: There’s a lot.
M: There’s a lot of bodily things happening.
L: Yeah! And they’re all bad!
M: Gross. All bad. But I did think like, “Why did they do that?” She [Sergio] said, “Just be honest for once.”
M: And how do you make someone honest? Well, if you’re putting your shit around them, you’re gonna get an honest reaction out of them, and
L: No, totally!
M: So, to me, although it was really gross, and we, like it’s, to me it wasn’t meant to be realistic because
M: this is like a very exaggerated, you know
M: and this relationship happens in 24 hours and they’re basically saying, you know, didn’t she say in the beginning, you know, “You should just get married first because then you get divorced in a year. You kind of like go through the whole thing.”
L: Yeah, it’s kind of like they took an idea
L: about like intimacy and vulnerability
L: and a gross word on Urban Dictionary
L: and were like, “What if we made a movie out of that?”
L: And in some ways it was successful and in some ways I think it was not.
M: Yeah, well I looked on like reddit for like people’s reactions. There really wasn’t many. I think it’s too new, but someone said, “It’s very raw and exciting and reminiscent of a brief yet fiery and toxic romance I had when I was in my early 20s. Is this lesbian culture?”
M: And that person’s name is thankyouqueerdo on reddit. (laughs)
L: Okay, so then I am gonna read one more thing. I think the very basic, so I just looked up to see if Autostraddle did a review
L: and like the main editor Heather Hogan did one, but the name of her review was Duck Butter Review: Good Lesbian Sex, Average Lesbian Mumblecore,
L: and I think that that’s accurate, like that the movie itself was ehhhhh, but the sex was good.
L: But I will say, in a movie with that much queer sex, if you’re gonna have body fluids, like, I don’t know, we could choose different ones,
L: like there was no spit. I’m just gonna be gross. There was no spit. There was no come. There was no pee. It’s all just shit and duck butter.
M: (laughs) They really had, they were really trying to get people there, and they did. The first time I saw it, I was buzzed on an airplane on the way to Sex Down South, so I really loved it then.
L: Okay, fair enough.
M: But rewatching it, I was like, “Oh, but-” Yeah, but I think the intimate moments and the sex, it’s very like, “Awwww, I like it.” And then the other parts, you’re just kinda like, “What am I watching?”
L: Yeah. It was very real sex and it was varied and like, I enjoyed that. Like there were just different kinds of sex. I don’t know.
L: I think I just
M: I put a little video of it on the Queers Next Door story for people.
M: I thought it was gonna get deleted, but it didn’t.
L: I think I just wanna watch it as a porn.
M: Yeah. But I’m proud of you for watching it.
L: Thank you. I did a thing. I did an assignment.
M: (laughs) Okay, next one. Which one?
L: I don’t know. You watched more recently. So what is the one you want to talk about the most?
M: Okay, so I think my least favorite was Bound.
L: Okay, yep. That’s legit.
M: And this, it’s like such a long description. I don’t know, how would you describe it? Oh, so this is by the Wachowskis,
M: and Jennifer Tilly- Who is not in love with Jennifer Tilly? Are you?
L: Oh yeah.
M: Yeah, everyone I talk to is.
L: You look kinda like Jennifer Tilly.
M: No. What?!? Really?
L: I don’t know.
M: Well, that’s a compliment then.
L: Yeah, I meant it as a compliment.
M: (laughs) No, I know. I know, but I’m just like, “Oh, I don’t think so.” But both of them are super hot again. Like every part of my reviews, there’s like people are either hot or there’s hot sex.
M: And like that’s what keeps me interested. (laughs)
L: So I don’t even know if we need to talk about the plot. It’s a gangster noir kind of film with Jennifer Tilly as like a gangster’s like mole, like girlfriend situation.
L: And Gina Gershon as a plumber.
M: Yeah, something like that.
L: As like a hot dyke with tools.
L: That’s all I remember.
L: I will say my experience with the movie because Megan’s seen it more recently, but it is the first like mainstream movie, the first movie I saw that had two women having sex ’cause I saw, it came out in…1996?
M: Yeah, 1996.
L: That was when I was 17. So that makes sense.
M: Awwww, baby Leigh.
L: So I was a baby lesbian and so I was like real into it and so were all my friends, especially like my few friends that were gay, ’cause we didn’t have like, you know, it was just the beginning, “it was the beginning of the internet,”
L: so we didn’t have a lot of like queer culture. So we’re like, “Ohhh, ladies are doin’ it in this movie” so I’ve seen it like five times.
L: And it was a thing you could like have around the house like, my parents weren’t like, “Why are you watching this?”
L: Because they just didn’t care what it was about or look at it or anything. So that’s like my main experience of it, is like I remember the sex scenes and also that the dialogue was like atrocious.
M: I wrote down some of the quotes.
L: Do it. I’m ready.
L: Oh, also Gina Gershon’s character’s name is Corky,
L: which is the least sexy name ever.
L: And if anyone remembers watching Life Goes On. Did you watch Life Goes On?
M: I think so. It sounds familiar.
L: It was about a family and they have a son who has down syndrome
M: Oh maybe I didn’t.
L: and his name is Corky and that’s all I can, that’s what I’m doing with the word Corky.
M: (laughs) And Jennifer Tilly’s character is named Violet, which is one of my favorite names.
L: Oh, I like that.
Person 1: On a night like another other night, we were on vacation from Christmas, so the week between Christmas and New Year’s.
Person 2: My parents were followers of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, who is was then known as the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, currently known as Osho even though he’s been dead since the `80s.
Megan: And then I heard the noises again and I looked again but this time I could hear footsteps, like someone was definitely coming in.
Person 1: And when I walked into the bedroom I noticed that Andre’s side of the bedsheets were pulled down, but he wasn’t in the bed.
Person 2: I wouldn’t say we were a doomsday cult per se.
Megan: But when the door opened, it opened like, like from a horror movie. It was like slooow and creaky and then she held the knife over her head.
Person 2: I think when you get to a certain point where you’re either putting a tinfoil hat on
Person 1 (overlapping): Each time it got a little bit worse because I stayed and he made me feel like
Dick: Welcome to Being There, the podcast devoted to exploring the extraordinary aspects of everyday people’s lives. I’m Dick.
Kelly: And I’m Kelly, and you can find us on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, and all other major podcast apps. You can also follow us on our social media; Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter at BeingTherePod
(various overlapping voices telling stories)
M: But I think now that I’ve watched all the movies, like to me, reading about them is far more interesting. I love the Wikipedia about movies and the trivia, all of that,
M: all of that nerdy shit. I love it. It’s so exciting. But I loved reading this part, that it was… What was it? I just saw the part. Oh, the directors initially struggled to cast the lesbian characters before securing Tilly and Gerson and..there was more. Anyways, it was hard to cast because it was lesbian sex.
L: Oh, it says yeah, a few actresses were interested. Yeah. Times have changed. I feel
L: like everybody would do that now.
M: But it’s like, this was 1996, so
L: It was.
M: Okay, so the quotes that I wrote, because some of them were really, really funny and terrible but sometimes hot. Okay, Violet says, “I’m not apologizing for what I did. I’m apologizing for what I didn’t do.” And then another quote from her is, “I have this image of you inside of me, like a part of me.” Hot. I liked it.
L: Yeah. Yeah.
M: It’s very cheesy.
L: Yeah, no.
M: And then Corky, another very cheesy line, after, in the morning, after making love with Violet says, “I can see again.”
L: I remember that! Okay, I totally remember that part of it. ‘Cause I think we made fun of that. I remember that being a thing we made fun of. I’m too far from my mic. Yeah.
M: Oooh, the part with the wet part. Do you want to read it? Okay, I’ll be Corky.
L: Wait, where are we?
M: This was a hot part.
L: Which part?
M: Right here, it says, “Corky what are you doing?” “Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to seduce you.”
L: Okay, you’re gonna be, wait, I feel like, do you want me to be Corky?
M: Yes. Oh wait.
L: I think I should be Corky.
L (as Corky): “What are you doing?”
M (as Violet): “Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to seduce you.”
L (as Corky): “Why?”
M (as Violet): “Because I want to. I’ve wanted to ever since I saw you that day in the elevator. I know you don’t believe me, but I can prove it to you. You can’t believe what you see, but you can believe what you feel”
M: And then she [Violet] puts her [Corky’s] hand down there.
M: And then she says, “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
M: Ahhhh! I love that part! (laughs)
L: That’s amazing.
M: So I had to include that in my dorky notes.
L: Are they standing like near a sink when that happens?
M: I think so, or was it on the counter or like sitting kind of like sitting/standing.
L: Like she’s there like doing like plumbing work
L: around like the kitchen sink, right?
M: Mmhm. Yep.
L: 20+ years since I’ve seen this movie, but I remember that part.
M: Those things will stay with you.
L: They will.
M: Yeah, so I didn’t, like the violent parts of it, I just completely tuned out, so I think I missed most of the storyline,
M: but anyways
L: I don’t think it matters.
L: It’s not a great story. Like would I recommend it to people who’ve never seen it? I don’t even know. It’s got a like nostalgic like, “How did we show lesbians?” Like it’s also, a fun fact about the Wachowskis is that they are siblings and they are both trans women, but they made this movie before either of them transitioned. So when they were still known as the Wachowski Brothers. And that’s, I tend to think of like who directs movies, you know, like is it through like a male gaze or a female gaze,
L: and so it’s an interesting thing because it was directed by two women
L: who are sisters.
M: I loved that, reading about them. And then the other interesting part, which I told you earlier, is the sex scenes were choreographed by feminist writer and sex educator Susie Bright.
L: That’s awesome too.
L: I don’t know if I knew that at the time, but yeah, she’s a badass.
M: And then another cool thing, ’cause since I didn’t really pay attention and I feel like I missed some of the themes, Susie Bright described the lesbian themes. One is “the concept of the hand as a sex organ, highlighted by lingering camera shots of Corky and Violet’s hands” and like the wet part, where she
M: you know like puts her hand up there. Another is “the repeated use of water as a symbolic motif” – How do you say it, motif? –
M: “to represent women present. For example, when Corky is retrieving Violet’s earring from the sink.” Bright describes it as “a movie that is wet, feminine as opposed to hard, masculine.”
L: Interesting. Okay.
M: Yeah. So I liked that part. So yeah, reading about this was very interesting to me more than watching.
L: But yeah, I don’t know if there’s anything else to say about Bound. I’m curious what other people think if they saw it, especially if you’re a little closer to my age,
M: Uh huh.
L: what you thought of it would be interesting.
M: Yeah. Well I hope people will watch it after this if they haven’t
M: and then let us know what they think. Okay, the next one we should talk about is Hedwig and the Angry Inch, because I think we should end with But I’m a Cheerleader,
M: which was the one that most people had seen on the poll.
L: Yeah, sure.
M: So Hedwig and the Angry Inch, it came out in 2001.
M: It’s a comedy/drama/musical. And so at first, it was on stage, right, it was like a musical
M: and then they made it into a film.
L: It was. And John Cameron Mitchell did it like, he wrote it and he starred in it, and he did the stage production and then it was his, he played Hedwig in the movie, and he’s great. Side note: if anyone’s not watching Shrill on Hulu, it’s amazing and John Cameron Mitchell is in it, playing the Dan Savage character,
L: because the person that wrote the book, Lindy West, used to work for Dan Savage. So even though they’re not calling him Dan Savage, that’s definitely
M: Oh wow!
L: who he’s playing, which is just like a bitchy queen.
M: And one of my favorite authors wrote some of that too, Samantha Irby, from Bitches Gotta Eat.
L: Oh nice! I didn’t know she wrote some of it.
M: So yeah.
L: It’s great. It’s excellent.
M: I’m gonna watch it. I’m going to watch it.
L: John Cameron Mitchell looks literally like the same age still. He’s a lovely man
L: who always looks super hot. Did you like it?
M: I did like it.
L: I love it.
M: I really, ’cause I love musicals it’s a lot easier for me to pay attention to musicals. I love the costumes, the makeup. I did like it. It was easier to watch, and I love the illustrations
M: on the side. I just think that was really well done. The story was again, harder for me to follow because I’m someone who like wants to pay attention to every detail
M: or I’ll just be like, “Nope. I’m not anymore.” (laughs) So I did pay attention to most and I did like it.
M: It was my second favorite of what I watched that weekend.
M: Yeah and then I put this quote because I loved it.
M: I love the tattoo. I’m totally that person who saw it and was like, “I want to get that tattoo now”
L: Oh, sure.
M: because I think it’s so symbolic. It’s so meaningful to so many. But the quote is, “It is clear that I must find my other half, but is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don’t? Did he get the looks, the luck, the love? Were we really separated forcibly or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again?” Love that part.
L: You know what’s interesting, is I don’t like the idea of soulmates
L: like, you know, like I’m just like a super poly person, like I don’t really buy into the idea that like, you know, that we’re halves
L: of like becoming a whole. But if you’re ever going to use that idea, this explains it in such a lovely way
L: that like, it’s very, even though that’s not like, my worldview or whatever (laughs)
L: it’s very like romantic and just kind of lovely and
M: (whispers) Oh, I love it.
L: “Wig in a Box” is like such a fun song
L: and is just a staple of all the queer karaoke that I’ve been to.
M: See, I bet I’ve heard that, I’ve heard these songs before without even knowing what they were because I just watched this for the first time.
L: Totally. You know that, you know that one, but I don’t sing so I’m not gonna sing ’em.
M: And at the end doesn’t the circle, the little circle thing kind of eats itself and that’s how it becomes whole?
L: I don’t remember.
M: So I think it was… I don’t know. I think that’s why I liked it, but I can’t be 100% sure. Maybe that’s something I made up, (laughs) which I do. But I love that. I loved the whole like, searching for your other half and then it really could be you coming to terms with yourself in a way.
L: Yep. I also really like the actor who plays Tommy Gnosis,
L: Michael Pitt. He is, I think, like weirdly hot, and he’s always in really fucked up movies. If anyone saw the American version of Funny Games, I would first like to say, I’m sorry because it is the most upsetting movie ever.
L: But he plays the bad guy. I saw it- Side note: Funny Games is a movie by Michael Haneke. It’s Australian and it’s about like hyperviolence and like how we deal with that and it’s like a very like kind of obvious social critique. And for some reason the director was like, “Well I made this disturbing movie in,” he’s German or Austrian, in whatever, in Austrian or in German,
L: and then, “I don’t feel like I made people upset enough. So what if I do the exact same movie, shot-for-shot, in English with American actors?” And he did and so I saw the premiere at Sundance, and I watched… So, if you’ve never been to Sundance, most of the movies are shown in Park City, which is where the festival is. But Park City is like less than an hour from Salt Lake City so they also have a theater in Salt Lake City. So more of the like people who live in town
L: versus the people who come in from Hollywood, will go to the screenings that are in Salt Lake. So, it screened in Salt Lake City, which is like a pretty decent city, sized city. Not a decent city,
L: but a decent sized city. (laughs) And I watched people leave this movie in droves.
L: Like I’ve never been to a movie like that. I probably, like if you think of like a regular sized theater that was full, I think I was count… somewhere between 20 and 30 people left.
L: ‘Cause Michael Pitt was being a fucking sociopath.
L: So I think he’s hot and also creepy. And I think he was in some of the American Horror Story stuff.
L: Oh no, maybe not. I don’t know. Now I’m just making things up.
M: (laughs) Like me.
L: Okay. Let’s just make up facts. How would we ever find out the answer?
L: Just talk about it and not look it up. No, I love this movie though. I haven’t seen it in awhile, but I think it’s… I like the music a lot.
L: Musicals are corny.
M: I wanna watch it again, like when I’m more in the mood to watch movies
M: ‘Cause I really didn’t feel like it, and I put, I played some of the soundtrack. I put it on my playlist last night.
L: I love the yeah. I like music a lot, but a lot of musicals are really corny, so I need ’em to be like really fun or really gay or something.
M: Oh yes, I love corny shit.
L: Like I like this.
M: Okay, so the last quote, I wanted to read it,
M: from this movie and then we can move on to But I’m a Cheerleader. “My sex change operation got botched. My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch. Now all I got is a barbie doll crotch. I’ve got an angry inch.” (laughs)
L: Yep, and that’s from the song. That’s the main song.
L: It’s great.
M: Yes! So yeah, I liked that. That was my second favorite.
L: It’s great.
M: Aaaand oops, I think I cut you off.
L: No. No, no.
M: My first favorite was But I’m a Cheerleader!
L: This movie is so cute. So this is the one I was saying I’ve watched, I watched when it came out and then I watched it some time in the last like six months. So I’ve seen it recently. I’m pretty sure… I watched it with my partner. I think she hadn’t seen it yet, hadn’t seen it before,
L: which makes sense. So it is… Do you want me to just give a little rec-
L: So it is a satire.
L: It is, essentially this is a teenage girl, played by Natasha Lyonne, who is one of the hottest people in the world.
M: And she’s not really queer.
L: I don’t believe it. I think it’s a lie.
M: I was so shocked.
L: She ha- There was all this stuff after Russian Doll about how she has like Big Dyke Energy and I 100%- Is she not queer at all?!? I think she is queer. I think she’s just in a relationship with a man.
M: No, I think she’s not. I think she just did an interview about it. I don’t know. (laughs)
L: I refu-
M: “Don’t kill my dream.” (laughs)
L: I refuse to accept your information. So,
L: another thing about her… well so anyway, Natasha Lyonne plays a high school girl who is a cheerleader and is very like femme
M: Uh huh.
L: and kind of mainstream, but all her friends and everyone realizes, besides her, that she’s a lesbian. And so they send her off to like a, like a gay conversion camp. But it’s done in a, I mean, it’s awful, but it’s not like what we’re thinking of as like gay conversion therapy that really happens and it’s really terrible and toxic. It is a satire of that
L: So it is a comedy where basically a bunch of gay teenagers are sent to like strictly enforce the heterosexuality, gender binary,
L: like hyperfeminine, hypermasculine stuff. It’s very pink and blue and Ru Paul is in it and Cathy Moriarty who has been in a lot of John Waters films. So like everybody in it’s kind of like gay too
L: or has a gay following. It’s great.
M: Yeah. Well I love that her name is Megan.
L: Her name is Megan. That’s right.
M: I’ve heard so much about this movie and I never heard that part of it or anything
M: which it doesn’t really matter, but it’s always funny to hear your name in film, you know,
M: and I just thought it was hilarious because how cute and innocent and sweet she is and like doesn’t even realize that she’s gay. And it really reminded me of something that I thought as soon as I realized I was gay, is she said, when they asked her about it, she’s like, “Doesn’t everyone feel this way?”
M: That’s exactly what I said when I realized. I’m like, “Wait a minute. This is, like, doesn’t everyone, everyone likes girls”
M: “You just don’t talk about it.”
L: Oh yeah. The dad is also played by Bud Cort who is also, who is from Harold and Maude.
M: Oh I love that movie!
L: Do you know that?
M: Yes! That’s one I know. Actually, didn’t think I realized that.
L: And then he was in a lot of John Waters things too.
M: So but this is not a John Waters movie, right?
L: It is not. We did not talk about any John Waters movies going through this. There are, like, that’s just a side thing, is we should watch some John Waters movies.
L: ’cause they’re all very queer. I don’t know who directed this. Do you have that written down?
M: Directed by Jamie Babbit.
L: Jamie Babbit has done other things, that name is really familiar. I’m gonna look up Jamie Babbit.
M: This is from 1999.
M: So the things I find interesting while reading about it was, “this was initially rated as NC-17,”
M: “and Babbitt made cuts to allow it to be rated R,” and “Babbit criticized the MPAA for discriminating against films with gay content.” And “many critics didn’t like the film, comparing it unfavorably with the films of John Waters.”
L: Okay, which I’m sure she just took as a compliment. Jamie Babbit is a woman. So she also directed The Quiet and Itty Bitty Titty Committee. I remember Itty Bitty Titty Committee coming out as a like, a very indie movie, but I never saw it. But she’s directed this – I was thinking her name sounded really familiar recently, and that’s because she did direct some episodes of Russian Doll
L: and also
M: Oh wow.
L: Gilmore Girls, Malcolm in the Middle, Nip/Tuck, The L Word, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. So lots of like queer or feminist kind of programming.
L: Sound like she’s directed stuff, so that makes sense.
M: See? Love this. I love like geeking out about like who did what and what other movies they make and now I want to watch them all. But will I? Who knows? (laughs)
L: And then, the girl that Megan ends up falling for in the movie
M: (whispers) I love her.
L: is played by, I totally just blanked on her name.
M: Clea DuVall, right? Clea DuVall.
L: Clea DuVall. Yes. When I first moved to LA, I saw Clea DuVall
L: in a Starbucks and I almost died.
M: Is she queer?
L: I don’t know, but she looks queer and she was wearing a leather jacket and I was like
M: She’s so hot.
L: And we were in Silverlake, a Silverlake Starbucks, like not a cool place at all, and I was just like, “What the fuck?”
M: (laughs) (giggles)
L: She’s so hot. Mmm.
M: She really is. Now I want to see what she’s in too.
L: Oh, she’s been in all kinds of stuff. See, so Natasha Leonne is the same age as me and so like a lot of, there’s like a few actors who are like f- almost exactly the same age as me and so I see them in movies playing my age always, you know,
L: and so I kind of like follow them that way
M: Yeah. That’s cool.
L: Claire Daines is also the same age as me, so My So Called Life came out when I was exactly that age ’cause she was playing that age, like 16. So I want to say Clea DuVall has been in a lot of things around that time too and I’m gonna look her up while you tell me what else you liked about the movie.
M: Well, side note: I think Katy Perry is the same age as me (edited to say, THAT is wrong. Shes a few years older, her album took a few years to come out so it makes sense that I thought it was the same age as me LOL!)
L: Oh yeah.
M: and we both got our divorces when we were 27. (laughs) So she wrote a whole album about it, which I found very healing and like
L: That’s amazing!
M: listened to it and just, I watched her movie, which was like, I’m sure, made for like teens, and I just totally cried and loved her. And that was, you know, whenever she would still have like the black hair and stuff
M: and I’ve heard now that she has like some issues or she became kind of like a trash person. I don’t really know.
L: She doesn’t seem like a great person, but that’s still really cool.
M: (laughs) So yeah, side note: I love that Katy Perry, like that will always be this, I don’t remember what the album is called, but I remember, she was same age, we both got divorced at the same time, so her music was like about that, and just
L: Do you know what I learned about like age 27?
L: This is about to get into some woo woo shit. So my friend Sam told me this. And this is different, we’ve talked about a different Sam here.
L: But this is a different Sam.
M: (laughs) There’s many Sams.
L: Everyone’s Sam. Listen, queers all have one syllable names.
L: But my friend Sam does a lot of like astrology,
L: reiki kind of stuff. So you know how like a ton of musicians die at 27?
M: Mmhm. Yep.
L: And you were just saying you got divorced at 27. So did Katy Perry. If you look at a certain kind of, like you’ve got to look this up, but we have like a Saturn return every so many years and it’s like a time when a lot of big things happen in your life.
M: (gasps) She says that! She says that!
L: So that’s why everybody dies! At 27! Because if you don’t make it through that Saturn return. So you had a-
M: She says it in the song. I was 27, something my return of Saturn.
L: See? There you go.
M: Yes! Wow! This just came full circle.
L: That’s amazing. Look it up.
M: (laughs) Okay, there was more I wanted to say about that. I wanted to read the steps. The steps that they had to follow to like cure their homosexuality was 1. Admitting their homosexuality.
M: 2. Rediscovering their Jenner, gender- (laughs) Jenner. Gender identity by performing stereotypically gender associated tasks. 3. Find the root of your homosexuality through family therapy. Sounds like a fun one. 4. Demystifying the other sex and 5. Simulating heterosexual intercourse.
L: (whispers) That’s right. I like the thing about. I like the root, that they use that word of it, because I hear a lot of people, especially on like queer websites and stuff talk about like, “What’s your root?” Which is like, “What’s your thing that made you first realize you were gay?”
M: Uh huh.
L: Or what’s the first like character on a show? Like we were saying our first movies with like lesbian sex in in but like
L: what was the first, like do you know what, who was your first like character like in a TV show or something.
M: Have we not talked about this?
L: Did we not talk about it?
M: I don’t know, but mine is really interesting.
L: Wait, what is yours?
M: Shelley Duvall from The Shining.
M: And so, if you think about it, she holds a lot of knives in that movie, has a lot of hot victim faces.
M: And I’m totally into that. I was very, I remember being very like, 5 or something and I used to have those thoughts about like, I really like this lady. Do I want her to be my mom?
M: Because I didn’t, you know, you’re like young, you don’t know what this is. And so it’s funny now that I’m into knives and like I love the whole like faces of distress and stuff.
M: All, if you google it, that’s like the first thing that pops up, and I loved her.
L: That’s amazing.
M: And I thought she was so hot.
L: I don’t think she’s attractive at all, but I think she’s really interesting looking.
M: Yeah, she is.
M: What about you?
L: So I think the first time like there was like a character that I was super drawn to was Six on Blossom,
L: Jenna von Oy
M: I have to google it ’cause I’ve seen Blossom, but I don’t remember.
L: So it’s Blossom’s like cool best friend. And I don’t, I like definitely didn’t know it was queer, but I know like
M: Oh, she’s cute.
L: She’s real cute. Yeah.
M: I wrote Six Blottom. (laughs)
L: It came up though, right? So Clea DuVall was also in The Faculty and She’s All That and Girl, Interrupted. Oh, all-
M: Oh, Girl, Interrupted. That’s where I’ve seen that.
L: in 1999. I would like to know if she’s gay. Oh, she is gay! What?
M: Clea DuVall? Wait, what’s her name? Is that her name?
L: Clea DuVall.
M: Okay, cause we just said Shelley Duvall so I got confused.
L: Oh, right, totally. So under the personal life section, it literally only says, “DuVall is openly gay. She resides in Los Angeles.”
M: (gasps) Let’s go meet her!
L: Let’s go meet her at Starbucks. That was like ten years ago.
M: If you hear this Clea, we would love to hang out with you. (laughs)
L: Give us a call.
M: Also Shelley Duvall. Wait, she’s not alive anymore. Nevermind.
L: Is she not?
M: I would like to hang out with her in the spirit world.
L: Are you sure she’s not alive anymore? It would be real awkward if she is.
M: Wait. Am I saying that and she is? Let me see. I don’t think she is, but I don’t know. Oooh, she’s tall too.
L: She’s still alive. Why are you k- Why are you k-
M: Nevermind. Nevermind. I don’t know. I don’t know why. I thought she was dead.
L: She’s only 69.
M: Oh. Nevermind. We’ll take that part out (laughs)
L: Will we?
M: Still down to hang out with her after death.
L: The sex scene in this movie, when they’re out in the woods, while not like graphic at all,
M: Uh huh.
L: which is funny that it was NC-17 because it’s such a tame like I don’t know. It feels like it’s barely an R rated movie
L: to me.
M: Well no, she made cuts. They said there was an extended part where oops, oops, there goes (thudding noise)(laughs)
L: But even if they cut parts out, you think that that would make it like an R. Like it feels like a PG-13 movie to me.
L: But I guess that’s not true. I guess I just think queer shit is normal because it is. But the sex scene in it is, it’s just really sweet and like they don’t really show anything,
L: but I love the song they’re playing. I think it’s a Mazzy Star song.
L: Do you remember Mazzy Star?
M: So it says there was a much, I copied, I put there was a much more longer…
L: Uh huh.
M: (laughs) “There was a much longer version of Megan masturbating and the sex scene between Megan and Graham was toned down because it was much too explicit and would have caused the movie to receive NC-17 rating.”
L: Got it. Oh, the masturbation, there is a masturbation scene,
L: which is kind of hot too.
M: Oooh, and I loved the whole like zapping thing every time she was thinking about
L: Yes! That was a really, that was like a very like kink
L: kind of thing that like I did not pick up the first time I saw it. Everybody- And it’s really fun too. Like the gay boys in it are really great and like the couple that rescues all the kids, the men
M: Uh huh.
L: are like the sweetest.
L: I just love everything about that.
M: Me too.
L: And the thing is, even though it’s very much like very much, you know, like very much a parody and like there’s a lot of like absurdity and silliness to it. There is a like, a real heart to it about like kids who are kind of kicked out of their families, like
L: young queers and being taken in by like queer elders and like it’s super sweet.
M: Yeah. I liked, okay, so I, someone wrote about this a little bit, Stephanie Zacharek from Salon.com said that, “With regard to issues of sexual orientation and homophobia, Babbitt is preaching to the converted.”
M: Cynthia Fuchs from NitrateOnline agreed, saying that, “no one who is phobic might recognize himself in the film” and “the audience who might benefit most from watching it won’t see it or won’t see the point.” But David Edelstein said oh no, no, no, no, no, that’s not the part I wanted, “In contrast, Lasalle said, ‘The picture manages to make a heartfelt statement about the difficulties of growing up gay.’ ”
M: And Timothy Shary said that the film openly challenges homophobia and offers support to teenaged gay viewers and Chris Holmund said that the film shows that queer identity is multi-faceted using an example of the scene where the ex-ex-gays tell Megan that there is no one way to be a lesbian.”
L: Yes! I actually
M: So yeah.
L: I think it’s a really nice movie for like femme visibility
L: that like, “No Megan, you can be like this super femme cheerleader.”
L: And like, “You don’t have to, now that you’re gay,”
L: “now that you’re aware that you’re gay, like go home and not be that person.”
L: Like that’s
M: I love that. So that’s why I put that long ass quote because I thought there was so many different views on it
M: that I really liked. Then the only other note I had is that at the end of it, it shows her dad at PFLAG.
L: That’s right!
M: And I love PFLAG because when I was 19, the year after my mom died,
M: I started to date a girl whose mom went to PFLAG
M: so she would go with her and they invited me and I went and it was really nice and healing for me because I, you know, we talked about like I never came out to my mom really
L: Yeah yeah.
M: and I had wondered what she would say. So I was around all these parents who were like, “Can I give you a hug?” and talking about that and like, it was just really great. So I loved PFLAG.
L: That’s really sweet. The song is by the artist Tattletale. So I lied saying it was Mazzy Star. It feels like a Mazzy Star song. I did not ever like, my parents never went to PLFAG and I don’t know anybody who went, but I had a friend whose dad was gay when I was in high school and he took me to my first pride
M: (makes noise like that’s adorable) mmmm
L: when I was 17 and that was really nice ’cause I didn’t have any, like I didn’t know any queer adults.
L: Like my English teacher probably was gay, who was the one that helped me, I talked about a little bit, like helped me like bring my girlfriend to prom,
L: but she wasn’t out.
M: I love that story.
L: It’s a good story.
M: Yeah, so PFLAG is Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, right?
L: Yeah, it’s, and it is very inclusive,
L: like it’s very trans-inclusive these days too, but they have kept the name, so
M: I will have to link to it in case anyone has not heard of it. And I was just gonna… Oh, and my teacher in Human Sexuality in college was a lesbian
M: and she came out on the last day
L (gasps) Awwww.
M: and she said she does it every year, so it’s not like a secret. If you have friends who are who have already taken the class, you would know. But she does that every year, and she brought her partner
M: and she like allowed people to ask questions but like not, you know, inappropriate things but
M: just like she said, and this was in, before my mom died, so this was 2005 or 2006 before it happened. She was one of my favorite teachers.
M: And it was before I had really realized
M: I mean, I had already like been with girls but still was like, “Oh, everyone’s just into girls and we don’t talk about it.” So when I saw her I did think, like, “I wonder if she’s gay.” But then I was like, “No, probably not.” So when she came out, I love, I just thought it was such a nice thing for her to do. And she said, “In case you think you don’t know anyone who’s gay,”
M: “now you know me.”
L: I love that so much.
M: I know! And so everyone, she had like a really good relationship with all of her students and it was like kind of funny and so she was, I think hoping to show that you can like someone and respect them and not even know that they’re gay so why…
L: And that doesn’t have to inform like how you think about them or anything.
L: Oh I like that.
M: Yeah, I haven’t thought about that in a long time.
L: Awww. I have, so two things. One is I was gonna say that like we’d love to ask people to tell us like what your favorite queer movies are or what, both like what your favorite is and if there’s any movie you want us to talk about.
L: I’ll even go back and watch it so I don’t have to tell you my
L: hazy memories of the sex scenes from over 20 years ago.
L: So that’s one thing. But also I’m in a book club and I just finished reading a pretty queer book by a queer female author so I want to plug it because people should check it out. It is Sci Fi, which I am not like, which is usually like just not a genre that I’m, that I’ve read much of.
L: But it’s called The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers and she wrote, there’s three books like in the series and we just read the first one and I loved it and I just ordered the second one. And it’s fun. It’s queer and it’s kind of poly.
L: And it’s just, like it just made me really happy.
M: I want to read those books now. I have too many books and shows.
L: You should read. You’re good at getting through books. Like you’re good… I’m like, “You’re a good reader Megan.”
M: (laughs) Thank you.
L: And it’s very like easy to read. Is that,
L: like it’s really easy to get into it. It’s not super short, but I think you would like it a lot.
M: Then I’ll have to read it.
M: And yeah, I think we should do like, we’re gonna do a queer music one at some point and I think we should do these like a few times a year. It is a good excuse for me to watch movies that I just usually haven’t seen or whatever so let us know.
L: Maybe we could do one on TV around the time that the new L Word is coming back.
M: Yes, I’m so excited.
L: Right. ‘Cause I think there’s some good, there’s been some good representation in TV and that’s another thing that’s kind of fun, like how it’s changed over the years.
M: Uh huh.
L: I came out the same year as Ellen. (laughs)
M: Oh really?
L: So that’s always really an interesting kind of like what that was like. Like I remember watching that episode and it was like such a big deal. I was so happy about it. Yeah, and then music, I might just talk about Ani DiFranco for an hour.
M: (laughs) And I’ll talk about Tegan and Sara. Ahhh!
L: Oh my god. Tegan and Sara, like my Spotify is only The National and Tegan and Sara. (laughs) That’s all I listen to.
M: Oh, I love… I wish we could play some of the music.
L: I know. What’s your favorite Tegan and Sara album?
M: The Con.
L: Okay. Mine’s So Jealous but I like all of them.
M: I wanted to read, like thank the Patrons.
L: Oh yeah! That’s great.
M: But I like, it’s like not letting me click it.
L: Okay. So we have Amber, Angela, Betty, Brandon, Christina, Dani, Elle, Eric, Jozi, notmycupoftea, Matt, mindyourqs, Minerva, Red, Sam, sharpsweetbella, and wiseeyesentertainment.
L: Thank you.
M: I love our Patrons so much.
L: Yeah, thank you so much. We’ll keep doing fun episodes for you, Queer Cuts
L: So if you (laughs), if you want to get in on that, you can become a Patron for as little as a dollar. And if you are thinking you would rather give us a little more money, if you are a $50 Patron, then we will put your ad on this here podcast and on our website, so let us know if you want to do that or you can, you know, any amount in between.
M: And everyone who joins who puts their address gets a card that Leigh does and she writes really pretty, so do it. That’s the end.
M: Thank you! Bye!
L: Thanks for listening to Queers Next Door. We hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.
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